Thursday, July 31, 2008

The world would be a better place if.....

  1. People would use their turn signal. That little lever by the steering wheel is not for decoration. If you are turning, use your fucking turn signal. And not just as you make the turn.
  2. People would not park in the handicap spot if the handicapped person is not getting out of the car. If I can park where I'm supposed to, then so can you. Yes, lady in the white Lincoln, I'm talking to you!!
  3. People would not let their toddler run wildly through the grocery store while they yell at the top of their lungs trying to get him to come back. If you cannot stop your child from running away, put him in the seat in the cart. Or leave him at home. And please don't have any more - if you can't control one, it is only going to get worse with more!!
  4. People would ride their bicycle with the traffic and obey the traffic laws. You are held to the same rules as cars. You give cycling a bad name!!
  5. People would not drive up the down lane in the parking lot. What do you think those fucking arrows are for?
Yes, I am feeling a little bitchy today. A girl can have days, can't she? Just follow my rules and everything will be OK. Oh, and get me some chocolate. NOW!!
Update: Our apartment complex provides us with free massages each month. Mine was today. And let's just say that after a massage, a Caramello, a pack of Sweet-tarts, a couple of Pamprin, and a margarita, I'm feeling much better!!


Dirtbikes and Divas said...

I'm just proud we aren't seeing you on Fox News today!


Maybe you should wash the chocolate down with a nice red wine! All I know is I'm glad someone else is a little tense today too! Bitches UNITE!! :)

thatcoolbroad said...

Can I add one?

6. When you are driving thru a crowded parking lot and you see a car begin to pull out...don't accelerate...don't keep going...THEY CAN'T SEE YOU! Stop and let them pull out for pete's sake. It's a parking lot, not 1-95.

Whew...thanks...I feel better now!


p.s. love the badge:)

Monkey Toe Momma said...

What a great list! I'm adding one as well,

7. When you see someone with hands ladened with things/strollers/ children don't just walk in and not hold the door for her. It's nice to be decent and exercise COURTESY!
*To the person having door held for him/her - please say "Thank you" to the person who was kind enough to do so.

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

A massage a month!!!I want to move into your complex.
I agree with you on this rant.
#1 - I hate it also when they decide they need to make a complete stop before turning on green. Pisses me off.
When someone sees me waiting for a car to back out and they whip their car in the spot while coming the wrong way. I have been known to get out and tell them exactly what I think.

Big Hair Envy said...

8. The world would be a better place if people sitting in the left turn lane at a light would PAY ATTENTION. When the light turns green, we only have 7.3 seconds to make it through before we have to sit another 15 minutes for it to cycle again. QUIT CLEANING THE TRASH OUT OF YOUR BACK FLOOR BOARD AND DRIVE.

My PMS cocktail? Dark chocolate Hershey's kisses, Midol and Red Wine. It does a body good :)

blah said...


I am guilty sometimes of driving down the up lane in a parking lot. It's especially bad, because I am otherwise VERY observant in parking lots, as they tend to be lawless places where people do whatever they please. I always feel bad when I disobey those arrows, but sometimes, it is just not convenient for me to go up instead of down.

JD at I Do Things

Joey said...

AMEN to #3!! One of the many reasons I hate

Lori said...

D and D - It was really close - believe me!!

TCB - People are such asses!!

MTM - You would think the majority of people are raised in barns!

PP - Awesome, isn't it? Sometimes you just wish you could play the "I have more insurance" card and just ram them.

Big Hair - What? Did they miss kindergarten? Green means go!!

JD - We'll cut you some slack since you do nude so we don't have to!!

Joey - I avoid Wal-Mart at all costs!!