Thursday, August 28, 2008

Embarassing Moment #1429

A few weeks ago, Big Hair Envy blogged about her love for Earth, Wind, and Fire. This reminded me of my love for them and for the Commodores. I was 10 when Brick House hit the airwaves. I would sing and dance like crazy to that song. I am sure my parents just loved it!

But, anyway, my love for the Commodores continued. Fast forward about 7 or 8 years - I was now old enough to go to concerts. But, alas, The Commodores weren't together any more. So I took what I could get. Lionel Richie was in concert in Nashville. That was close enough to the Commodores so I took advantage of the opportunity.

I convinced my boyfriend to take me. So the big evening arrived. I wore a red and white striped top with my favorite white denim mini-skirt and red heels. And my hair was as big as I could possibly get it to be (which wasn't very big!). And, let me tell you, I was looking good!

On the way to Nashville, we stopped and picked up some beer. And I started enjoying my evening - way too much! By the time we reached Nashville, I was lit! [Yes, your math is correct. I was only 17 or 18 and I was drinking beer. The Incredible Woody was a bit of a problem child!]

We made our way to our seats and waited for the concert to begin. Lionel Richie came on stage, wearing white and black striped pants. I felt it was a good omen since we were both wearing stripes. And that, my friends, is all I remember from the concert with one glaring exception.

At some point, I needed to go to the bathroom. The boyfriend (instead of taking his drunk girlfriend) stayed to watch the show but repeatedly told me "Row 17. Don't forget. Row 17."

So all the way to the restroom and while peeing, I repeated to myself, "Row 17. Row 17." I failed to realize that the auditorium was round and when things are round, every entrance looks the same. Especially when you have had a little too much to drink.

So I found what I thought was my entrance, went up the steps to Row 17, and entered the row to get to my seat. As I stumbled over people, I was constantly apologizing for stepping on them and bumping them. But I never came to my seat. That entire section was filled.

I rechecked that I was on Row 17. Asked the guy on the end if, in fact, this was Row 17. It was so I thought that I must have just gotten the section wrong. So I continued down Row 17.

"Excuse me. Sorry. I am so sorry but I am really drunk. Excuse me. Sorry.........."

Finally, I came to an empty seat and sat down. I turned to tell my boyfriend about how I had gotten the wrong section. But it wasn't him!!

I asked the strange guy if I could sit and rest there a while. It is really tiring climbing over people while you are struggling just to stand!

As I sat, I turned to look at the stage. My new view was the exact opposite of the view I was supposed to have!! I started laughing, trying to explain my predicament to my new friend.

So after resting for a few minutes, I decided to make my way back to my original seat. Did I go to the exit and walk around in the hallway? Of course not. I climbed over every person in Row 17, sitting and resting in every empty seat I came across until I finally made it back to my seat.

By the end of the night, I thought I was still looking good. But I imagine I was looking more like Courtney Love!

Oh, and I just remembered - I fell down the stairs as we were leaving. The boyfriend said, "There's a policeman. Be cool!" And down I went!!

5 comments:

Big Hair Envy said...

That is HILARIOUS!!!! I wish I had been at that concert. I would have gone to the bathroom with you - as long as Lionel wasn't singing "Ballerina Girl"!!!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

This is too funny..I thought to myself, oh no she did not make her way around the arena going through the whole row, and then you say that is exactly what you did. ROFLMAO!!!
What was even funnier is that you rested in the open seats.

Keeper Of All Things said...

I love it!!!!!!
Did you hurt anyone with the big DUMB ASS you were hauling behind you?!!!!
LMAO!!!!

Keeper Of All Things said...

ps--- I don't think your ass is dumb or big.....
Well maybe sometimes from this angle.............

The Incredible Woody said...

Keeper - Trust me, it's both big and dumb. From any angle!!