Friday, September 19, 2008

Embarrassing Moment #304

I like pizza. I mean I really like pizza. I have always liked pizza and I think I will always like pizza. That said - on to the story......

One evening after imbibing a rather large quantity of Spring Water*, I, along with my partners in crime, decided that I was really hungry. Pizza would really hit the spot.

We emptied our pockets to see how much money we had. Not enough for delivery. So it was off to the garage to search the freezer.

After digging around for what felt like ages, we came up empty. That is what lead to our fateful decision. We would go to Kroger and purchase one of their pre-made deli pizzas.

We pulled up to Kroger. [No, we did not have a designated driver. And, yes, we are lucky to be alive. And no, I don't do that anymore!] And since it was 2am in a small town, not a soul was around.

Somehow it was decided that I should be the one to go in and select the pizza. So I went in, made my way to the deli, selected my pizza, and went to the check-out lane.

No one was there. So I stood there, looking around for someone - looking for a bell to ring - calling out "Hello - Hello!". Nothing. No one.

So I looked out the front window and there were my friends - car running, waving for me to make my move! Did I dash out trying to make a fast getaway?? Of course not.

At that exact moment, the Mission Impossible theme started to play. Nonchalantly, I looked around one last time and grabbed my pizza. And then I ducked - ducked between the two register lanes and then waddled my way to the end.

I peeked out - checking once again to see if anyone was around. That's when I made my move.

I waddled all the way out of the store. In my liquored-up brain, the cameras would not be able to see me since I was ducked down. My friends never let me forget that one.

Thankfully, I didn't get arrested for my little escapade. Apparently, night-shift at Kroger was stoner central and the employees were all out back, lighting one up. Our Kroger store was not high-tech enough to have video cameras yet. But I didn't know this little tidbit of information at the time!!

*Spring water was favorite of local teens. There was no actual recipe - it was more by taste. We would pour a 'generous' amount of Bacardi 151 into a large cooler. (Not a styrofoam one - learned that the hard way!) Then add about 4 2-liter bottles of Sun-Drop, which is the local version of Mountain Dew. Add 2-3 lemons, 2-3 limes, 2-3 oranges - all sliced. Then add ice. Serve by dipping cups into the mixture. Mmmmm - yummy!!


Grandma J said...

Oh my gawd! That Spring Water recipe would put me 6 feet under Kroger.

How funny that you got away with a free pizza. That's what they get for leaving the place unattended.

Big Hair Envy said...

With MY luck, there would have been a police officer stationed outside the door ready to haul me to the slammer!!!

Why didn't I have the Spring Water recipe back then?? We settled for Purple Passion........not some of my finer moments :(

Big Hair Envy said...

Sorry for putting show tunes in your head today!!! Should we stick with songs from the '70's???

Dirtbikes and Divas said...

purple passion for me too!! And speaking of purple.... I just hope that purple girl isn't allowed to read her Auntie's blog!!! ;)

Formerly Fun said...

So this was last week?

Monkey Toe Momma said...

That is hilarious! I'm so glad you didn't end up in the slammers, lol.

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

Ahh, purple passion.
This is hilarious. You are invisible if you are liquored up and ducking, I know this to be true!