Monday, September 8, 2008

My Sunday Afternoon

Yesterday afternoon had the perfect weather - the perfect weather for water slides, that is! Yes, Vol Fan and I went to Typhoon Lagoon. We had an absolute blast!

Vol Fan is forever on the lookout for a bargain so he was lured in by all the places on US 192 in Kissimmee advertising cheap tickets to Disney and other Orlando attractions. So we purchased (in cash) tickets for Typhoon Lagoon on Saturday afternoon. I was convinced that these tickets were not going to work. So we would have just given these characters $50! I was even more convinced when I heard that the park used biometrics (fancy name for fingerprinting!) to prevent things like this from happening.

We arrived at Typhoon Lagoon right at opening time. We went to the gate and stood in line for entry. I noticed that the line next to ours was using just a handheld scanner and not using the fingerprint device. So we switched lines and made it in.

Vol Fan was pretty smug since I had made such a big deal about thinking these ticket places were scams. But I still believe they are scams - we just got lucky and didn't have to do the fingerprint thing.

Once in, we rode every slide (multiple times), got slammed by the big (and I mean big!) waves in the wave pool, swam with sharks, ate ice cream,... In general, we acted like a couple of 10 year olds and loved every minute of it!

The best slide is Crush 'n Gusher. It is actually a water-propelled roller coaster! It was a blast - except for our first time down. I was sitting too far forward so my ass was hanging through the opening in the tube. When we got to the bottom of each hill, my butt would hit the slide and it hurt!

So I started pushing down with my feet to keep my butt lifted which was great until the end of the ride. When we hit the pool at the bottom, I was pushing so hard that the front of the tube went under and we flipped. Worked out pretty good for Vol Fan since he was propelled up and over me. Not so much for me - the guy on the bottom!!

We also snorkeled at the attraction named Shark Reef. They have a man-made reef with tropical fish, sting rays, and sharks. Yes, those sharks are loose - not behind any kind of barrier! But they are fairly small and I am sure they are well fed!

Vol Fan and I were snorkeling very slowly and pointing to different fish. As we approached the end, a man came by me on my left. Just below the place where you get out was another shark - maybe 3' long. Apparently it looked like a 15' great white to him because he pointed, screamed (yes, I heard him underwater!!), and then almost killed me trying to get out of that tank. So when it comes to being shark bait, I guess it is every man for himself!

We also saw lots of people in bikinis that shouldn't have been wearing bikinis 50 pounds ago! And I saw one left testicle. This guy was wearing a Speedo and it had shifted so his left nut was hanging out. Vol Fan said that it had to be intentional. He says that there is no way the elastic leg band could cut his nut sac in half without his knowledge. Intentional or not, it wasn't pretty!

If you are ever in Orlando, Typhoon Lagoon makes for a great day!

Note to self: Once I become a bazillionaire, build a lazy river!

6 comments:

TheVinylVillager said...

Im so jealous!
I LOVE a water park, and I havent been to a good one in years.

Monkey Toe Momma said...

That sound so AWESOME!!!! Well, except for the hurt bum, being flipped, almost being shark bait (brew ha ha) and then seeing a left nut. It makes for great memories though! And I got to laugh and shudder in one post! :)

Once while at a water park with my hubby when we were still dating, I went on a HUGE slide because he called me a "sissy" (It was huge - I didn't want to go on it). When I reached the bottom, my bikini top was around my neck, my bottom was crammed in my ass crack and I received my very first High Colonic, all while a group of guys at the bottom watched. Needless to say, I was not please, but I was no sissy, either.

The Incredible Woody said...

Villager - I'm trying to convince Vol Fan that we need to visit Wet-N-Wild too! I have also been trying to get him to use those free tickets from Southwest to go to San Antonio. For the Riverwalk? Nah, I want to go to Schlitterbahn!!!

The Incredible Woody said...

MTM - There was one of those straight-drop slides at the park yesterday, like a 5-story drop! But I would not go on it without scouting out where the restrooms were in relation to the ride exit!!

Dirtbikes and Divas said...

I can't wait for October! The boys have already decided we are doing both Typhoon Lagoon and Blizzard Beach! And we're hitting the Riverwalk at San Antonio before we get there!!!! Although they were SUPER bummed because Schlitterbahn is closed by October. The only thing I'm worried about is 4 kids and a testicle hanging out! They would TOTALLY react to that! ewwwwww!!! So glad you both had fun! Are you there much longer? You know there is a shuttle launch on October 16th at Kennedy Space Center!!

The Incredible Woody said...

DandD - Sounds like October is going to be a great month for you guys!! I am not sure how much longer we will be here. But if we are here, I will definitely be at that launch. I was able to be at one back in 2006 - it was awesome!!