Friday, October 17, 2008

Things I Learned at Wet N Wild

Yesterday, Weezy and I spent the day at Wet N Wild, which is a waterpark here in Orlando. As far as waterparks go, it was pretty good but it is fairly small and I could see it easily getting crowded beyond all reason in the summer. Typhoon Lagoon had better atmosphere but Wet N Wild has more slides. Anyway, we had a great time and I learned several important life lessons.

  1. As we were walking to a slide, we passed several men in Speedos. Weezy turned to me and said, "Speedos just aren't good." I tried to explain to her that there were a lot of Europeans there on holiday and wearing Speedos is very common across the pond. She didn't buy it and still thinks they are gross. I have a tendency to agree. If you must wear a Speedo, please have the body for it. Even if the body fits, I still find it disconcerting to see someone's, uh, package on display like that.
  2. Trying to explain to an 11-year-old that it is really inappropriate for her to sing "You and Your Hand" by Pink is very, VERY difficult.
  3. Even the British (with their classy sounding accents) yell at their kids and call them stupid, just like the crass Americans.
  4. I have the best husband in the world. Both nights that Weezy and I were out late this week, Vol Fan had supper waiting for us when we got home. Even though, we were out playing and he had to work all day.
  5. To get really great photos from a really great day, you must bring the battery for the camera!!
  6. I am all for loving the body you have and all that but if your ass is 3 feet wide, do NOT wear a thong!!
  7. I am glad I am not a turd. One slide was like getting flushed down a giant toilet. I didn't think I was ever going to get out of that toilet bowl!
  8. Boys like boobies. Even little boys. Even little chubby boys. Even if it means cupping their newly forming man boobies.
  9. I could be very content sitting beneath a swaying palm tree for the rest of my days.

6 comments:

Suz said...

Very funny. I myself did not like that park. We were there about 5 years ago for a girlscout event. It was very crowded and there were a lot of mean kids there pushing my little one around. Plus, I saw a tampon in the lazy river. I know. Disgusting to the max.
Now, go take another shower. :)
The speedos...so not good. Put that package away.

Suz said...

Oh and yes, your Husband ROCKS!!!
I love men that can feed you and NOT complain about it.

Grandma J said...

Getting flushed down a giant toilet! Oh my, it doens't get much funnier!

Great husband!

Big Hair Envy said...

I just have one question, was Weezy singing "You and Your Hand" while you were standing next to the guys in Speedos??? Bwahahahaha!

TheVinylVillager said...

yes, little boys like boobies. When I was a wee tyke of 3 or 4, mom took me to see Nine to Five. I tapped the gentlemen in front of us on the shoulder and politely said, "Please, sir, would you move over, I cant see Dolly Partons boobies"

jay said...

Of course little boys like boobies. They're programmed to like boobies. LOL!

I have no idea what the lyrics are to Pink's 'you and your hand' but my imagination is running riot. If I'm even half right, no wonder you don't want your eleven year old singing it - especially not next to young men in speedos!