Thursday, November 27, 2008

New Outlook

After all the comments that I received over the last couple of days, I have realized a couple of things.

First, I am not the only one that suffers this time of year. People everywhere have suffered or are suffering through some sort of troubles. Most put on the happy face but sometimes it doesn't quite reach that happy place inside.

Second, it really helps to get things out. I don't think I have ever told anyone about the events in yesterday's post. Writing them down has helped.

Third, I have a LOT of great bloggy friends. Thanks for all the cyber hugs. I love all of you.

So I have gained a new perspective this holiday season. I am giving myself a holiday make-over.

  1. Rule 1 - If I have something to say, I'm going to say it. I have one big fear - abandonment. Fear that if I show you that I am angry with you, you won't love me any more. Well, dammit, if someone has done something to anger me, they will know it. And I will not dwell on it.

  2. Rule 2 - I will be myself. Another component of the abandonment issue is the fear that if you really get to know me, you won't find me worthy of your love. I show more of my true colors in this blog than anywhere else. You guys still seem to like me. So I am giving myself permission to open up.

  3. Rule 3 - I will focus on the things that I do enjoy about the holidays. I enjoy children during the holidays. So screw the adults, I'm hanging with the kids. Even teenage drama is better than adult drama.

  4. Rule 4 - I will use whatever means necessary to get to my happy place. If that means leaving, I will leave. If that means napping, I will nap. If that means having a glass of wine, I will have a glass of wine (PS - neither house allows this, my Dad or Vol Fan's mom!) - so if I need to sneak, I will sneak. If that means calling my sister to bitch, I will call. You get the drift.

  5. Rule 5 - I will go shopping. For myself. I looked into my closet yesterday and noticed something. Every piece of winter clothing that I own is dark - black, brown, navy, etc. No color at all. I will have color in my life. I will also find comfortable pants. I don't care what I spend.

Do you have any thing to add??

PS - Happy Thanksgiving from the new me!

13 comments:

Big Hair Envy said...

WOW! Your make-over looks FABULOUS on you:) I think I will make a copy of your list to hand out to certain family members when they arrive tomorrow. (We are celebrating on Friday) It will give all of us a fresh perspective, and then we will have a wine toast in your honor. When the meal is at MY house, wine is permissable:)

I would like to add one thing. Wear your new Danskos. The colors alone will make you feel better, and the kids will LOVE them!!!

Dirtbikes and Divas said...

Mission Accomplished....and as for the no Wine rule....my motto "I won't wine if you don't Whine" and usually I have a bottle in my system before I arrive it makes everyone so much more tolerable!! Happy Thanksgiving!

Boz said...

Woody - Happy Thanksgiving and here's a big hug for you. I don't look forward to a big, loud dinner with the wife's family, but I'll certainly make the best of it. I just wish they would all just use their indoor voices onec in a while...

Busy Bee Suz said...

I love your new rules...good for you. You are a grownup now, this is the freedom we have as grownups!!!
happy thanksgiving, I hope it was good for you.
Suz

trailerparkbarbie said...

Love your makeover. May I use it?

I would add this:
No more letting you guilt me into doing/decorating/shopping/spending/cooking or anything else.
Guilt will NOT work this year!!!!! Or, next year or the next year....

frogpondsrock said...

I like your rules. I was trying to find something to wear to my art exhibition and the only good tops that I had were black.. *sigh* So I have bought myself some stripey socks and a black skirt with bright red roses on it..

alntv said...

I'm looking forward to tthe transformation!!! But the sun-burned turkey is a little disturbing...LOL

smiles4u said...

This is so awesome! I am proud of you. All the things you listed are great things for a makeover. You are so right that you are not alone and that is something I have been learning too through writing on my own blog(I too, share far more on my blogs and other peoples blogs than I feel safe doing in real life!) and reading your blog and others...has been so good for me.

The one thing I am doing is giving myself permission to have bad days and that I don't have to perform for anyone. I am so glad that you put your feelings out here...that took courage and you got to see that those of us that read what you have to say each day, care about you whether your having a good day with a happy outlook or a hard time and need to just get it out.

Happy friday!

Life with Kaishon said...

This was brilliant : ). I hope it will help this season go smoother for you! I LOVE the turkey! It totally made me smile!

Grandma J said...

I love your list, and the new outlook. It's hard to step out of our safe place. That picture has "me" written all over it.

Desert Survivor said...

Great list! I'm so glad we are cyberfriends, I really enjoy reading your blog. And who knows, maybe we can meet in person some day!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

Good for you!! I hope you truly enjoy yourself over the holidays, you deserve it!!

Cool Breeze said...

Sounds like you have made peace with yourself. Keep thinking positively and remember, sometimes it is all about you.