Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Worry

I worry. A lot.

Here's the thing - if you met me face-to-face, you would never know about this worry. I am VERY good at coming across as a 'glass half full' sort of person.

Unfortunately, you guys don't get to see me face-to-face. This is where I come to unload all my deep dark secrets.

And the fact that I worry is one of them.

I worry about everything. But mainly, I worry about things over which I have absolutely no control. That just makes my worry even more stupid!

So what do I do? How do I stop?

I know it is stupid. I know it is a waste of energy. I know in my heart that God is in control.

But my heart does not control my brain and that brain just keeps on clicking away. How do I turn the worry off?

OK, so this is going to sound bad so please don't think bad of me. I am not an overly religious person. And I'm definitely not one to stuff my beliefs down anyone's throat.

But most church stuff has always seemed so fake to me. I've seen too many cross-hugging, in-church-every-time-the-door-is-open types doing horrible things and sometimes in God's name so I'm not much on organized religion. Remind me to tell you about my 'religious years' sometime - you won't believe it!

I can hear many of my church-going friends telling me to "Let go and let God".

And I'm willing to do that. But how do I do that?

My brain runs 24/7. How do I just turn it off?

12 comments:

T said...

I don't have any answers for you Hon.

I have the same "issues" you do with organized religion....I believe in God, prayer and forgiveness. But I do it on my own (and as a wayward Catholic - you can image how that's going!)

I know you W....have for a while. You are such a kind, loving and giving person. Just follow what feels right in your heart (sorry, I know it's cliche, but that is what I firmly believe!)

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Woody - I have the same problem. You cant turn it off. I just put things in order of worry and I do ask God to help me with it. I refuse or try real hard not to worry about things I cannot control- sometimes I have luck other times not so much. Life will pass you by worrying about shit if you let it. But one thing I have learned that prayer does help.
Yeah I know- wrong answer. Alcohol helps too.

Linda said...

Well, Woody, I've finally gotten to the age that I know I can't change a thing by worrying. I am a born-again Christian, but I don't pray like I should, don't read my Bible near often enough, and get really fed up with church people, but I do know that God is in control, and no matter what we do, His will will be done.

I think the older you get, you will just count your blessings, and go on!

Hope this helps. Keep unloading on us if you want...we'll keep 'listening'.

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Well Woody---You won't believe this (since I worked in a church for over 25 yrs)--but I truly understand why you feel the way you do.. Organized religion has made alot of mistakes through the years.

Religion and spirituality have to come from within. The organized church is where one is supposed to find that deep spirituality --and then be able to share it with others. BUT--there's only one HUGE problem. Churches are made up of sinful humans (all of us).

SO---how does one find God in the midst of so many sinful humans???? So many of us humans live a 'fake' life---by going to church on Sundays and then living our own selfish lives --without God--the rest of the week. People searching for God see US--and know that we are not very good examples.

Many people go to church JUST to find 'nice people' --to become friends with. Fellowship is one of the main reasons people attend church. Others go as families to a place where the children can be safe and in a good environment.

BUT--finding God has to be an individual event --just between a person and God. I lived my entire adult life 'doing' for others --and thinking that I was pleaing God by my 'tasks' in God's name.

It was AFTER I got out of churchwork that I truly found God and now live with God at the center of my life. I'm not a religious-nut---because I am VERY human and of course I sin. I just know now that God loves me FOR me regardless.

I don't have to have organized church to have this 'relationship'--but I also have George to share my deepest feelings with. We all need others in our lives and we need someone to talk to about our feelings and about our spirituality.

Sometimes people find this person (or group) within a church and other times, we have to look beyond the church ---maybe out in nature--or to others we admire and respect, in order to have this relationship.

You are not feeling anything, Woody, that we all don't feel at one time or the other. It's good to get it out and talk about it. Your blogger friends can help--and I hope we do.

It took a LONG time for ME to LOVE ME. Once I could love and accept myself, then God's love began to shine through...

Hope this helps a little.
Love you,
Betsy

Busy Bee Suz said...

I love what Betsy and the others have said above. I am also a worrier. I have not a clue how to help you...what I do though is sometimes put my head in the sand and let it go. We can only do so much. My issue is I worry about the stuff I see on the news: rape, murder, plane crashes, child abductions...so I don't watch the news or read the paper much..this helps me a bit.
I hope you can LET some of it go and enjoy life. You are a great person with such a seemingly sunny outlook...damn, you had me fooled. :)
Suz

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Woody--about Genealogy, besides counting on relatives, I use Genealogy.com and also RootsWeb...

Hope you are feeling better today. My mom was a 'worrier'.... I always told myself that I was NOT going to put my energies into things I could NOT change. If your worrying has something to do with things you cannot do a damn thing about, then don't waste time worrying about them.

I don't worry about dying. BUT--I do worry about living like my brother is living (just EXISTING). I don't want to be like that --but again, I don't have alot of control over that (except for staying as healthy as I possible can)..... And sometimes that doesn't even help. My good friend who had a stroke was in tip-top shape physically. SO---who knows???? Guess getting out in nature helps me.
Hugs,
Betsy

mom x 2 said...

I wish I had some answers to help you worry less. I don't. The only advice I can give is to try not to let the worry cause you to miss the things in your life that are most important. I hear that yoga and meditation are great relievers of stress.... maybe of worry too? I also hear that blogging helps :) Good luck my love!

smiles4u said...

You surely don't stand alone in this my dear friend. There was a time that I spent a lot of time worrying about everything and I mean everything. Even though I still battle with this at times, I now call myself a recovering worrier...lol. I don't think it's any one thing that helped me stop...well, stop at least to the extent that I was driving myself crazy and everyone around me too...lol.

I, like you, am usually a half glass full kind of person. I think part of my problem is that by nature, I care too much about people...even people I don't know personally...I'm a natural born caregiver. I can also tend to care too much about what others think...ugh.

I think that it might be part of your nature to worry. Have you ever tried meditating? Or journaling your worry's? One thing that I do, that seems to have helped the most is visualizing letting go...when I catch myself worrying, I either vent to a good friend, write my worrys down in a journal or say just them out loud as if I were talking to God or a trustworthy person. I purge whatever it is out and give myself a set amount of time to worry. Then I visualize a stop sign...the time is up....no more worrying allowed. I then picture letting all those worry's go...like they are flying away or burning up in the trash. I then, get my mind busy with thinking of something positive...I'll name things I am grateful for or think of something that makes me happy. I meditate on those things. Then, many times I will do something physical such as work out or go for a speed walk or clean...anything that makes me think about something different. Yoga does help too...especially since my teacher is so positive and encouraging.

I know this sounds like a long process, but it really isn't...sometimes it only takes 5 minutes. The more I do this, the easier it is to change my mind frame and stop the worrying.

My heart goes out to you in this...I think it's great that you are so honest and open about it. I really hope you can break free of this...take it from me, you can do it!!!!! Love and hugs, Lori

jay said...

Oh gosh ... I am JUST the same as you. I worry over stupid things, and I'm with you on the God/religion thing too.

I have learned to avoid stressful situations where possible, because the more stress, the more worry over stupid things. It's as if my stress needs an outlet. So I avoid learning about the hideous fate of greyhounds in Spain (for instance) and nuclear warfare and terrorism and all that stuff I can't deal with, and mostly my life is calmer.

And as others have said, faith comes from within. You can't force yourself to have faith.

imom said...

I'm playing catch up on my blog reading! I love what all the other commenters had to say... I'm a worrier, but really I only worry about known stuff, like going to the dentist, driving in heavy traffic, my kids having b/fs and g/fs. The rest I give up to the universe through meditating.

It's taken me awhile and a lot of practice to get to the point where I can visualize a peaceful place (my "happy" place) and my worries fade away.

I'm heading over to your new blog now, to check it out!

Caution Flag said...

Betsy and I seem to be on a similar wavelength. I spent years living the culture of church and was happy in that. I needed the friendships there and later, when I had kids, I wanted them to have a relationship with Christ. I was sure the church would do that. But sometime during my early 40's and while serving in a leadership position at church, I lost my infatuation with church culture. How could that happen? I was raised in a parsonage; the church was all I knew! Since then, I have been on a journey to fall in love with Christ. That relationship is so much more than falling in love with the culture of church :) The worry thing, though, remains an issue. I know scripture tells us that we don't have to carry that anxiety, but it's a big jump for me to be able to hand it over. It's absolutely a daily struggle. So the anxiety is here, but I am far more comfortable with who I am. It's a good place for me to be.

Wow. I don't think I've ever typed such a long comment. Lucky you! Sorry :)

Jason, as himself said...

This is weird. Just a couple of posts ago I wrote all about worry as well. We're thinking along the same lines!

Have you read Eat, Pray, Love?
There is a section that talks all about learning to control your thoughts, mainly through yoga and meditation. I've not once done yoga nor really meditated, but it was an interesting idea for me to consider. I'm still thinking about it.