All You Mothers

I must admit that Mother's Day has several effects on me.

First - I tend to find things funny that ought not be funny.  So when I hear people wish a Happy Mother's Day to "all you mothers out there".  I laugh.  I wonder if they realize the silent F-bomb in their cheery wish!

Second - I tend to get wistful.  Vol Fan and I were unable to have children.  No matter how much we tried.  No matter how much we prayed.  No matter how many embarrassing tests and procedures the doctors ran.  No matter.  We were not given our hearts desire.  But we have tried to thoroughly embrace the freedom that has come with our childless life.  And we have tried to be the best aunt and uncle in the history of the world.

Third - I tend to get melancholy.  When I was 16, I lost my Mom to cancer.  She bravely battled for 6 years.  I miss her still.  Several years ago, I found my birth mother.  Thankfully, we were able to meet and correspond for several years before I lost her to congestive heart failure in 2007.  I can get lost in the yearning for more time with both of them.

I decided to make a change this year.  Instead of letting myself go down that dark path, I choose light. I choose love.  While I suffered much loss in the mother department, I also had so many wonderful woman that stepped in during different phases of my life.

The first women to step in were my Mom's sisters.  She was from a large family - 6 sisters and 2 brothers.  While my Mom was battling cancer, they made regular trips (of at least 5 hours one way) to our house.  They would cook and clean and work on school projects and mend torn clothes...all the things my Mom would have done had she been able.  As an adult, I realize the sacrifice they made to make these trips.  And I am a stronger person today because of their love.

During my late teenage years, I went down a very dark road with drugs and alcohol.  At this point, another great lady stepped in.  Mrs. Ellis - the mother of my good friend Dana.  No matter the time of day or night.  No matter what condition I was in.  She would welcome me into her home.  She would hold me.  Counsel me.  Wipe my tears.  Love me.  And I am a stronger person today because of her love.

Now that I am a grown-up, [Wait!  I don't want to be a grown-up!! :)]  I see my friends - the ones that I have known since grade school - turning into such wonderful mothers.  To watch them with their children is a joy.  Their children are growing into such strong and talented young people.  And to think that these people are my friends.  They welcome me back into the fold each time my life brings me in their direction, just as if I were never gone.  And I am a stronger person because of their love.

And there is one very special mother in my life - Prima Ballerina.  The mother of Pita and AB.  I am positive that my Mom would have loved her dearly.  And the joy that Pita and AB would have brought to her would have been immeasurable.  The time that she allows me to spend with those girls is a very special gift to me.  I don't think she knows just how much I treasure it.  And I am a stronger person because of her love.

These, and so many others, bring such joy and love into my life.  So this year, I choose to focus on the love.  It surrounds me everyday.  And I am a stronger person for it.