Saturday, December 15, 2012

I Choose Love

Late Thursday night, I hauled the camping gear out onto our deck.  I pulled on my warmest hat and gloves and I snuggled into my nest of down blankets to watch the Geminid meteor shower.

The weather was perfectly clear.  And the Geminids did not disappoint.  Some were small and faint but a great many were huge, brilliant, streaking completely across the sky.  It was wondrous.

As I laid on the deck in the dark, 29* night, I was filled with such a sense of peace - deep and filling.  I could feel it in my bones.  Yes, we have our problems - work, money, health, etc....But none of that mattered.  Everything in my world just felt right.  That sense of peace was so overwhelming that it stuck with me through the next morning.

And then I saw the news.  The horrendous, unimaginable news out of Sandy Hook, Connecticut.

All I could picture was sweet AB sitting in her kindergarten classroom and Pita sitting in her 2nd grade classroom.  I have never reacted to news like I did to this.  I spent most of the afternoon in tears, tears that would not stop.  Tears for the parents that lost their precious little ones.  Tears for the parents that were lucky enough to bring theirs home.  Tears for the bravery of the staff.  Tears for innocence lost.

I sent a text to Prima Ballerina saying that I was feeling a HUGE need to hug my girls.  And I am lucky enough to have a SIL that understands the depth of my love for her girls - and she is willing to share them with me.  Pita had plans so AB came over some special one-on-one time.

We completed my work - AB doing all the stapling.  Shopped at Wal-Mart.  Ate with friends at Fazolis.  Stopped by a party at the mexican restaurant.  Came home and started a scrapbook.  We rounded out the evening with a candy cane while watching Rudolph.  It was a perfect night.  And one that this aunt needed.

Thankfully my time with AB has helped me regain that sense of peace.  

Are things perfect?  No.  There is evil in this world.  There are a huge assortment of problems.  But I will not let that rob me of my joy.   I choose good.  I choose puppies.  I choose rainbows.  I choose love.

And that is where my focus will be.


Homegirl Marlene said...

I love this post....I'm so glad you got to have some awesome special time with AB. I agree with your feelings sad. I still wish you were my aunt, too.

Lori said...

This made me cry because you are such a beautiful sweet soul. I did pretty much the same thing yesterday until my little's got home from school...I cried and prayed....and have continued to do so ever since. I too, felt the need to do more with my little's and today we are doing crafts together. I choose love, peace, kindness, forgiveness and to not let my anger over all this happening to influence my loving others.

Thanks for your words this afternoon...they tasted really good! :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I love this. I wish the world was filled with people like you. (and me!) And then...only good/fun things would happen. I am so thankful you are the Aunt of two super sweet girls.

Betsy Adams said...

Oh what a neat post---so full of positive thoughts, even in a world of pain all around us.... Thanks so much, Woody!!!!! Glad you had some 'huggy' time with your 'girls'.....


Mental P Mama said...

Amen my friend, amen.

Life with Kaishon said...

I am so sorry. So sorry this has happened in our nation. I am glad the girls have an Aunt like you. Someone who loves and treasures them. You are a blessing. Sending love.