Thursday, May 15, 2008

Unsolicited Advice

After reading The Fat Cyclist's post yesterday, I couldn't help but be reminded of all the years of infertility treatments that Vol Fan and I went through. As soon as anyone heard that we were struggling with fertility issues, they would offer their advice or the success story about their cousin's friend from Idaho or some piece of medical guidance.

Just so you know, someone that is struggling with infertility doesn't want to hear about how so-and-so got pregnant right after they did [insert crazy thing here]. The advice ranged from drinking a lot of wine to propping up on pillows after sex to taking certain vitamins/herbs to using a turkey baster. [We drew the line on this one!!]

Usually the advice was to 'just relax'. Just relax! Are you kidding me? Relaxation is NOT the problem when people haven't been able to get pregnant after years and years of trying. Vol Fan and I have been married for 18 years - that is 19 years of unprotected sex. I am sure that at some point along the way we were relaxed!

You would not believe some of the crazy stories people would tell us and out of desperation, we would try. I know these stories came with the best of intentions but infertility is painful. Very painful. So please - unless you are asked for advice, please keep your stories to yourself.

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