Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Why?

I have been troubled lately.  My good friend, Blazer, has two beautiful, talented children, Oboe and Giggles.  They are great kids.  They both play soccer and are in the band - and they excel at both.  They also make great grades in school.  Just all around, good kids!

But those children are treated like pariahs by their grandparents.  The grandparents dote on their other two grandchildren.  And I am sure that the other two grandchildren are wonderful kids as well.  But why make such a difference between the two?  Some may think that this is exaggerated but I will give you an example.

Last night was the first time Giggles played with the band at a middle school football game.  Last night was also the first time the other granddaughter cheered at the very same game.  Grammy didn't even tell Giggles to do good or good luck.  Nothing.  But the other granddaughter was fawned over.  Even taken out to dinner with several of her friends.  All paid for by Grammy.  Would it have been so hard to invite Giggles to that dinner?  Would it have been so hard to give her a hug and say "Break a leg"?

I just don't understand.  And my heart breaks for Oboe and Giggles.  Thankfully, we have a great group of friends and we called up the calvary last night to give Giggles some support!

But why do parents and grandparents do this?  The more I look around, the more I see just how common it is.  Vol Fan and his brother and sister were treated this way by his grandparents.  Even Vol Fan's father made a difference between Vol Fan and his brother.

Maybe I was just lucky.  There was a difference made by my Dad's parents between me and my siblings and my other cousins.  Distance was probably the major factor.  We lived 18 hours away while my cousins lived next door.  But all the love that I had from my parents, my other grandparents, my many aunts and uncles more than made up for that!

My heart breaks for those kids that don't have a support group to rally around them to fill in the gaps.  I just don't understand.

6 comments:

Busy Bee Suz said...

I don't understand this either. I never felt this way as a kid, and I don't think my kids feel it either.
Really, it is the grandparents who are missing out...all these wonderful milestones with lovely girls?? Crazy.
Lucky...they have YOU. You rock.

Tammy said...

I'm sad to say I think this happens in most families. My kids are treated similarly by one of set of their grandparents, thankfully they have two sets or they would really be missing out!

Mental P Mama said...

I hear about this all the time. And I don't think it has anything to do with the children...I'm thinking there must me an issue with that charming Grammy and her in-law.

George said...

I don't understand this either. When they were young, my son could do no wrong as far as my wife's mother was concerned. My daughter couldn't do anything right. Unfortunately my wife's parents lived in the same town we did, while my parents were 500 miles away. I don't think my daughter ever got over it.

Betsy from Tennessee said...

How sad, Woody... I'll bet there's an 'issue' between the grandparents and one of the parents.. The poor children get punished because of adult problems. Unbelievable...

Hugs,
Betsy

SusanoftheBox said...

How did my kids end up with two sets of grandparents who couldn't care less? It makes me solemnly swear up and down and left and right that I am going to be the most doting, attentive, present grandma there ever was. I know how these kids feel.

Here is something that helps me get through the tough times: I tell myself that the grandparents are only favoring the other kids because they think they need it. My kids are clearly so great that they don't need supplemental attention and doting.